If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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