I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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