You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
