just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize