Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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