OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
