And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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