he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
