just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
