fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
