Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
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