he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
