never play flip cup with pint glasses
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
tell me about the fingering
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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