This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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