UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
