Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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