I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
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I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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