So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
