A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
