All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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