God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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