She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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