You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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