i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
