Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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