I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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