So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
