Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
