I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
