Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
