No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
