I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I cut my penus on the lid.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
