the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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