I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
