Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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