Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
