a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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