i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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