Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
