No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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