Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
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I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
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I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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