16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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