and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
did you just send me my own nude
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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