I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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