think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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