OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
