i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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