Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
