you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
