Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
