I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Randomize