The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
