I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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