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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.

  (229): View more from Georgia

  Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.

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  23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (601): View more from Mississippi

  Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.

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• (707): View more from California

  My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Was he satisfied?

  (416): View more from Toronto

  No, and very vocal about it.

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• 

  These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (970): View more from Colorado

  The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts

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• (585): View more from New York

  When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!

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