I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
