but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
