Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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