We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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