you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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