not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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