I have demons in me.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night