My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize